Cold Head?

Don't get a hat, get a mobile phone

Why waste money on unsightly headgear when you can stay warm and trendy with the latest in radio technology?

It works for microwave ovens. Make it work for your head too.

After all, radio waves and microwaves are all part of the same big family. Get the frequency right, and radio waves can have a warming effect just like microwaves.

If you hold your mobile phone close to your head, almost half the radio emissions will pass through your skull. That's lot of energy. Within minutes you can create localised hotspots inside your brain where the temperature is significantly above normal. Once you finish your call, these hotspots will disperse, just as they do in a pie that's left to stand for a minute after it's been microwaved.

You stay warm and no damage is done. This heating effect has absolutely nothing to do with the brain tumours that people stupidly associate with heavy use of mobile phones. It's true. Really it is. Ask your mobile phone company.