Poetry
These are formatted for a computer screen. On a mobile you'll need to zoom. But they're small so it shouldn't be a problem.
Ten Thousand Men
The Grand Old Duke of York inspires a craze on the London Underground.
Ten Thousand Men (animated version)
The animation code is more than 15 years old, but strangely it still works on many devices.
Home Improvements
Surrealistic view of humanity becoming more technological and less natural (with no mention of DIY).
Santa
...now works as an anchorman for CNN. When this was written, the war in Bosnia seemed to be going on forever.
Love
If love was a fairground ride, it would be banned on safety grounds.
Act for One
On the perils of
writing purple prose.
Published through London Transport's Poetry on the Buses, also recited on the James Whale show.
Relate
On listening to somebody else's poetry.
A Layman's Opinion
Inspired by watching
snooker on TV. What are the players really thinking?
Published through London Transport's Poetry on the Buses.
Kamikaze Courier
A mad bastard on two wheels.
Love Train
Vonnegut called orgasm a non-epiphany. I agree. Sometimes I see trains.
Curtain Call
Signing off.
Published through London Transport's Poetry on the Buses.